It's always hard to find something to get Dad for Father's Day. I mean, you can only get a man so many tools. This year I went out and got our family tickets to the Green Bay Packers Intersquad Scrimmage and Family Night in August, something we've never had the chance to attend. My dad, being a Green Bay fan like most men in Wisconsin, seemed to love it, which was a relief. I guess he was just happy not to get another power tool as well.
I spent the day with my father yesterday changing the oil on some of the family cars and then watching the local summer college baseball league team play, The Wisconsin Woodchucks. Sitting on the third base line drinking Bud Lights and watching baseball with Pops...can't get much better than that if you ask me.
I've actually done quite a bit of thinking about my dad over the weekend, spurred on by not only Father's Day but by my mother's request that I try and have a better relationship with both of them. I guess living at home here still with my parents and fiance that I take them for granted quite often, usually only speaking to them for a half hour or so a day during dinnertime. I've never been the most helpful son around the house, I'll admit that, and with my parents getting older by the minute it seems, my contributions to the house workload should increase as long as I'm living under their roof for free and eating their food.
My dad and I back in the dayBut it's tough when you work 8-5 and commute 120 miles a day to work. All that equals out to about a 12 hour day. By the time I get home at 630 pm, I pretty much only have time to eat, check the fantasy baseball wire, work on the blog, and then watch some baseball in the basement. Doesn't exactly leave a lot of time for family.
For that reason and that reason alone perhaps I've decided to devote less time to blogging. Sure, there's always going to be shows to see or music to talk about, but there won't always be my parents, especially if we end up moving to our own place soon. Plus, I think being a blogger has changed the way I enjoy music - I'm seeking too much for what others will want to hear, spending time during concerts taking pictures instead of enjoying the show - little things like that have been influential as well. I've almost forgotten what kind of music I enjoy, something I promised myself I'd never do, but it's hard when you're chasing hits and page views.
I started Veritas Lux Mea in graduate school as something to do, creatively, to pass the time in between reading and, well, reading. Now that I'm trying to devote 60 hours a week to work, it's been a struggle to maintain the blog, and an ever harder battle to balance my free time with spending quality time with Felicia or my parents.
I've gained weight, lost track of my diet, and lost touch with world news, politics, and current events simply because I haven't been able to manage my free time effectively. I guess I feel a little selfish spending so much time working on my blog and not spending time with those that really matter or doing things I deem beneficial, like reading, and that's something that I'd like to change.
So this isn't goodbye, because like I said, there's always going to be shows to see, pictures to be taken, and setlists to be reviewed. Luckily, there's some really great Wisconsin and Midwest bloggers like Ryan of Muzzle of Bees or Eric of Can You See the Sunset from the Southside? to keep you informed, and they usually do a much better job of it anyways.
But I do want to give my dad something great for this Father's Day, and maybe that gift is more time spent listening to him complain about his boss, talk about professional wrestling, or just sitting together watching some terrible movie on the Sci-Fi channel that he enjoys. Whatever it is, it's worth it.
You are the music while the music lasts - T.S. Eliot